The word no is given such a bad wrap. It makes people uncomfortable and gives you the idea that you are standoffish. I used to feel the same way until I found that saying yes to everything left me tapped out. Now? I give out no’s like Oprah gave out cars .lol. And I’m still nice ole snuggly ole me. How is that possible? Because I accepted a few truths about no in order to be comfortable and at peace.
No is a complete sentence by itself.
Our modern culture makes us feels obligated to say yes more than we want to always be viewed as accommodating. Or to have a dissertation to accompany your no. Sometimes it just needs to be a firm no depending on who’s asking. Some people in your life, work and social circles do love to push boundaries. If they hear hesitation or a comma after the no, they see a green or yellow light. Let no period be the stop sign to put an end to being used.
2. No doesn’t have to mean outright rejection.
No is simply a tool to set boundaries around yourself. If you have a full plate, it’s ok to say no to stop it from tipping over into the overwhelmed zone. Sometimes no can be a form of delaying until you can accommodate. If a no is necessary only momentarily, simply imply that it will be yes at a later date. This may seem contradictory to #1, but it is just a different way of saying no depending on a situation. Like a meetup, date, appointment or task can wait if it will cause more stress than necessary now but be ok 3 weeks from now.
3. Executing no is a form of self preservation. Use it wisely.
I’m not telling you to turn into a grinch. I AM saying that when you execute a strategic no, it should be taken seriously. Not because you want to be mean; but because you want balance. That is what a no allows you to have. You don’t have to add a fourth project if the third has you doing all nighters 3 days a week already. If your body says “stay in and sleep because that’s all you have”, your friends can still have a great time. Tell them to send pics or pot on their IG stories. The no allows you to stay 100% for every part of your life.
4. No doesn’t have to sound like just no.
No can take many forms.
“ At this point, I cannot participate and dedicate the attention this project/collab/job needs. I will have to pass on this opportunity, but look forward to contributing to future projects/collabs soon. Thank you for understanding. “
“I need to recharge or else I will become a zombie. I’ll catch you guys next time around. “
“Saying yes to this would make me uncomfortable , so I will pass.”
Any version of these statements make the no clear while still allowing you to be open to something down the road. If you want to have a no full stop, try no and leave it there.