Daily Self Love Checklist | Confidence & Self Love

I recently talked about “The gift” on my podcast, focusing on self-care. I believe your overall wellness will help improve every aspect of your life, including your style and confidence. That starts with a standard. So where do you begin? You begin small and build small consistently.

I created a short checklist called the G.E.M  checklist to keep those thoughts and sense of self-care up to a high standard. There are a few benefits of this, most importantly being always having a check in list to make sure that you are loving your best self in the best way,  the authentic way.

  • Create a checklist to help you keep yourself accountable

  • Refer to it as often as you need it

  • Recommended daily for at least 3 weeks then two to three times a week

So what are you waiting for? Grab your daily checklist and get yourself back on track.


I also delve deeper into self love and confidence building in the first of my 6 part training, The Stylista Blueprint. Grab your seat and let’s get the inner work done.


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4 ways to destress | Confidence & Self Love

If you believe Forrest Gump,  you believe that box is like a box of chocolates, so you never know what you're going to get. But that also means that it welcomes in the unpredictability that life so often has to bring. That can be stressful. You have enough on your plate, How do you handle it all?  No worries. As long as you keep reading your understand a few of my most important tips for distressing 4 different ways. With these tips you can handle life's curveballs a with a little more ease.

Unplug Your Life

Unplug from all electronic devices at least an hour before bed. Not only will it allow your eyes some relief but allow your brain to kind of cool down slowly. It's not an abrupt detachment from Electronics right before you go to bed. Nor do  you fall asleep staring at a screen. Give your brain a break and stop focusing on the electronics. Focus on you. The same principle applies for when you wake up. For the first 15 minutes of my morning, I'm in the complete darkness. I get up stretch, get on my couch drinking my water all in the dark without electronics. There are a peace and a calm that enters my body that starts my day off with a more centered focus. It's a great way to start the day.

Read it out

Now that you have unplugged at the beginning and the end of your day, try reading a bit more. It forces focus and attention in a way that sometimes technology affords us the luxury of not having. Figure out your favorite two genres and explore them I love autobiographies and business starter books. The entrepreneurial mindset is something that I always focus on because it interests me. You might like Thrillers or fan fiction or you may just be dusting off your twilight. No judgment.

Embrace no

This is definitely a hard one for me but it's a must. A lot of our stress comes from our inability to stick to no. It's a no but I'll get to it.  Maybe it's not a no-it-all. It's a yes I'll work it out, I'll make it work. Put yourself first. Prioritize your stress level being low over being afraid to say no to an opportunity or to someone's request . Only say yes when it's necessary. Put things at a later date if you feel that you just can't say no. It allows you to time to recoup, recover and face the task with a full head of focus. But don't push yourself to put more on you then you can honestly take. It doesn't help you or the person that you're doing it for.

Stretch it out, Breathe it out

Maybe it's because I've spent a good chunk of my life as a classically trained singer. I know the importance of a good stretch and a good breathing technique in the morning. I'm refiguring my own health and my own standards, knowing that stretching has enabled me to embrace a healthier me but it's a must. I suggest you to do the same. Stretch in the morning and just sit there in stillness for 5 minutes.  Just breathe. You'll be surprised at how come you feel be surprised how great you feel at the end of it. It's just about clearing your head and focusing on the now.

I don't know how you distress but if you're looking for more ways these four are definitely a good place to start. Which one stands out to you? And which one are you going to try today? Let me know in the comments below


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3 solo date ideas for improved confidence | Confidence & Self love

Part of getting to love yourself is getting to know yourself. If you go on dates to get to know others, why not do it for yourself? It makes you embrace the concept of “alone, but not lonely” while teaching you to enjoy your own company. Many don’t enjoy themselves so getting out there and slaying it by themselves. Take any of these ideas to

Groupon roulette

Let Groupon do the work for you. Pick a number 1-10. Then go to Groupons homepage and hover over the local tab, scrolling down to “Things to do” section. Remember that number you picked? Scroll down to the corresponding posting and buy it. So if you picked 7, scroll to the 7th posting and do that activity. You can always narrow the options to fit your budget. I have done a pottery class, racecar driving (NEVER AGAIN.LOL) and even a trash museum. I love the random adventure this brings. It keeps you on your toes and allow you to let go a little bit.


Budget Date

Set a strict budget (Never over $100) and pick an outfit, food and activity with the budget. Make sure you have you budget in cash. Make it creative—limit yourself to only places beginning in C, or you can only shop at a thrift store for your outfit. Or doing it all in one shopping plaza. Maybe try doing it two towns over.


Pamper Day

You can do this at home or out and about. If it’s a home pamper day, use face masks, a hot foot bath with epsom salt and some nail polish and chocolates, or gummies. Watch your favorite movies and eat a little sushi while doing nothing but relaxing for 3-4 hours. If you’re going out, save up for a full spa day of full masssage, facial, mud bath . THE WORKS.


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3 Ways to build confidence | Confidence & Self Love

Confidence is a lifelong journey that seems harder to maintain the older you get. Don’t get bogged down in the details; simply appreciate them. That means building a confidence that is authentic, long lasting and realistic. Let’s talk a realistic game plan for a better you.

  1. Daily affirmation that don’t involve fluff or surface.

I love a good affirmation. Notice I said good. My love language is admittedly acts of service, so my journey to loving affirmations has been a long one. But I do know that if you . You’ve spent long enough telling yourself things that break you down and make you question your fab. Invest in a good affirmation. A good affirmation will validate you while pushing you to accept something just outside your comfort zone. You know I couldn’t leave you hanging right? Here are some of my favorites:

  • I believe in my talents and skills to make things better wherever I go.

  • I forgive myself and release my past.

  • I embrace fear and self-doubt, not letting anything stop me from what I want.

2. Setting up self values that are less beauty based and more merit based

You are more than the physical beauty you can exude. Basing your value on who you are and what you do is something that can be validated everyday. Being productive, supportive and creative are goals you can live up to everyday whether you’re in pjs and toothpaste stains or in a gown. Whether you’re sick or not. You can be you even if you only have 50% that day. You can still give 100% of that 50% and thrive while celebrating you.

3. Give yourself more credit and less contingencies

Full time adulting is hard. That’s why I’m only adulting part time.lol. No seriously, with all the responsibilities you have to keep up with, failing is inevitable. Something will fall short or through, but it’s not your fault. It’s just the nature of life. Celebrate getting it done or at least acknowledging that something didn’t turn out. Still celebrate the lesson of failure. Try celebrating less what you win and more of what you can learn and implement. There has never been a single big success earned with out paying the cost of failure first. Give yourself the grace of getting there.

If you haven’t noticed, my version of confidence is all about innerwork and outer results. Celebrate you in these new ways and start the healthy journey to self love on your terms. Which way best speaks to your confidence journey? Let me know in the comments below.


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The Power of no & how you can get it | Confidence & Self Love

The word no is given such a bad wrap. It makes people uncomfortable and gives you the idea that you are standoffish. I used to feel the same way until I found that saying yes to everything left me tapped out. Now? I give out no’s like Oprah gave out cars .lol. And I’m still nice ole snuggly ole me. How is that possible? Because I accepted a few truths about no in order to be comfortable and at peace.

  1. No is a complete sentence by itself.

Our modern culture makes us feels obligated to say yes more than we want to always be viewed as accommodating. Or to have a dissertation to accompany your no. Sometimes it just needs to be a firm no depending on who’s asking. Some people in your life, work and social circles do love to push boundaries. If they hear hesitation or a comma after the no, they see a green or yellow light. Let no period be the stop sign to put an end to being used.

2. No doesn’t have to mean outright rejection.

No is simply a tool to set boundaries around yourself. If you have a full plate, it’s ok to say no to stop it from tipping over into the overwhelmed zone. Sometimes no can be a form of delaying until you can accommodate. If a no is necessary only momentarily, simply imply that it will be yes at a later date. This may seem contradictory to #1, but it is just a different way of saying no depending on a situation. Like a meetup, date, appointment or task can wait if it will cause more stress than necessary now but be ok 3 weeks from now.

3. Executing no is a form of self preservation. Use it wisely.

I’m not telling you to turn into a grinch. I AM saying that when you execute a strategic no, it should be taken seriously. Not because you want to be mean; but because you want balance. That is what a no allows you to have. You don’t have to add a fourth project if the third has you doing all nighters 3 days a week already. If your body says “stay in and sleep because that’s all you have”, your friends can still have a great time. Tell them to send pics or pot on their IG stories. The no allows you to stay 100% for every part of your life.

4. No doesn’t have to sound like just no.

No can take many forms.

“ At this point, I cannot participate and dedicate the attention this project/collab/job needs. I will have to pass on this opportunity, but look forward to contributing to future projects/collabs soon. Thank you for understanding. “

“I need to recharge or else I will become a zombie. I’ll catch you guys next time around. “

“Saying yes to this would make me uncomfortable , so I will pass.”

Any version of these statements make the no clear while still allowing you to be open to something down the road. If you want to have a no full stop, try no and leave it there.

No doesn’t mean the end unless you want it to. The power lies with you, not the person asking. Keep it that way. How will you try and embrace the no in your life a little more?