The Power of no & how you can get it | Confidence & Self Love

The word no is given such a bad wrap. It makes people uncomfortable and gives you the idea that you are standoffish. I used to feel the same way until I found that saying yes to everything left me tapped out. Now? I give out no’s like Oprah gave out cars .lol. And I’m still nice ole snuggly ole me. How is that possible? Because I accepted a few truths about no in order to be comfortable and at peace.

  1. No is a complete sentence by itself.

Our modern culture makes us feels obligated to say yes more than we want to always be viewed as accommodating. Or to have a dissertation to accompany your no. Sometimes it just needs to be a firm no depending on who’s asking. Some people in your life, work and social circles do love to push boundaries. If they hear hesitation or a comma after the no, they see a green or yellow light. Let no period be the stop sign to put an end to being used.

2. No doesn’t have to mean outright rejection.

No is simply a tool to set boundaries around yourself. If you have a full plate, it’s ok to say no to stop it from tipping over into the overwhelmed zone. Sometimes no can be a form of delaying until you can accommodate. If a no is necessary only momentarily, simply imply that it will be yes at a later date. This may seem contradictory to #1, but it is just a different way of saying no depending on a situation. Like a meetup, date, appointment or task can wait if it will cause more stress than necessary now but be ok 3 weeks from now.

3. Executing no is a form of self preservation. Use it wisely.

I’m not telling you to turn into a grinch. I AM saying that when you execute a strategic no, it should be taken seriously. Not because you want to be mean; but because you want balance. That is what a no allows you to have. You don’t have to add a fourth project if the third has you doing all nighters 3 days a week already. If your body says “stay in and sleep because that’s all you have”, your friends can still have a great time. Tell them to send pics or pot on their IG stories. The no allows you to stay 100% for every part of your life.

4. No doesn’t have to sound like just no.

No can take many forms.

“ At this point, I cannot participate and dedicate the attention this project/collab/job needs. I will have to pass on this opportunity, but look forward to contributing to future projects/collabs soon. Thank you for understanding. “

“I need to recharge or else I will become a zombie. I’ll catch you guys next time around. “

“Saying yes to this would make me uncomfortable , so I will pass.”

Any version of these statements make the no clear while still allowing you to be open to something down the road. If you want to have a no full stop, try no and leave it there.

No doesn’t mean the end unless you want it to. The power lies with you, not the person asking. Keep it that way. How will you try and embrace the no in your life a little more?